by Ross Bullen
Look out for job postings into the places that are usual the Chronicle of Higher Education, faculty listservs, and esoteric manuscripts hidden in the Vatican library. Pay particular attention to jobs located close to the Tigris and Euphrates rivers within the Fertile Crescent region. Job ads printed in Sumerian cuneiform should go into the “definitely apply” pile. Same goes for any job that gives to pay you in livestock, grain, or small trinkets that are golden. For you, try staring into a broken mirror and saying the name of the school 666 times if you’re not sure if a job is right. If the mirror starts to bleed, you’re definitely in the right track.